Shoot, how much time do you have, because we could be here all day.
Honestly, I can’t even make an accurate estimate, but it’s upwards of 12, maybe as high as 20, and I know that sounds like a lot, but I’ve lived through MANY haircuts gone wrong.
Let’s see… Off the top my head, there was that one in first grade when my grandma, who was attending cosmetology school at the local community college at the time, convinced my mom that it was in the family’s best interest to give me a bowl cut and a tight poodle perm.
It did not end well. Shortly after the perm grew out, The Ralph Macchio cut happened.
SERIOUSLY, WHAT WAS MY MOM THINKING LETTING ALL THESE PEOPLE DO CRAZY THINGS TO MY HAIR!?
There were also numerous bad haircuts in middle school, one involving a Princess Diana haircut that went very wrong… I’m gonna leave your imagination to that one.
In high school a series of terrible layered bangs, but that was my own damn fault. I often cut my own hair bear bangs and had no idea what I was doing.
For several years in college I got a slight respite because my hair was long, and I didn’t have the extra cash to do stuff to it, but when I started working full-time in my 20s, gurrrrrl — that’s when sh*t really hit the fan. I had just enough money in my pocket to go to salons where ladies got their hair “DONE”, but the done I was doing rarely worked out. My hair is naturally wavy, and back then it seemed like hardly anyone knew what to do with it, like that one time when the person who cut my hair into what was supposed to be a J.Lo-inspired shag used a razor… I ended up with a mullet, and not a pseudo mullet, but a full-on ’80s mullet with a rat tail!
I wore my hair up for months after that! (I also developed a severe fear of razor cuts that didn’t go away until I met my friend/hair whisperer Alis.)
There was also the person who cut my hair the day before she was scheduled to leave on a three-month trip to Thailand… I guess her mind was on packing for vacation, because she completely changed the direction my hair parted.
Oh, and all of the lopsided hair cuts… SO MANY OF THEM! ’tis the curse of wavy hair with a varied curl pattern.
When you answer this question, I hope you get to say “never,” or “only once or twice,” because growing out a bad haircut seems to take roughly forever.
Anyway, let me know! And let me know what you did last night! Did you score lots of candy? 🎃🍭 Connor kept grabbing handfuls of Swedish Fish, even though I kept aggressively whispering “Get the Snickers for mommy!!!”
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,